1. The grass is always greener

Believe me, I’ve tried them all. 

Cafes, restaurants, cocktail bars, hotels, you name it.

Hospitality is just tough.

But each place is tough in a different way.

The thing I noticed is that, after a while, it starts really annoying you.

You feel like the grass is always greener on the other side.

‘I wish I had evenings off,’ I used to think when working in cocktail bars.

Then I started at the cafe and I realised I can never go for brunch during the weekend.

That by the time I finish work, no coffee shops are open.

Or that I cannot do WODs during the day with my friends on the weekend.

Then I started a different one and my shifts were 12-10.

Yeah, I didn’t start early and I didn’t finish late.

But now my problem was that I couldn’t do anything before or after the shift.

Anyway, spoiler alert.

You can never win.

Each one’s gonna suck.

Just in a different way.

So I learned that you just need to choose the one you mind the least.

2. Never upset the chef

Beware, all chefs are volatile.

Some will just mumble swear words but some might throw plates across the kitchen when a mistake happens. 

So be ready. Lol.

But under no circumstances, should you upset or argue with the chef.

Not only is he preparing your meals for your breaks.

But he also has power over all of your potential unhappy customers that you’ll have to deal with.

If the kitchen guys don’t like you, you’re gonna have a really bad time.

3. The only time you’re ‘passionate about customer service is during your interview’

“I love working in hospitality because every day is different and I love meeting new people.”

Yeah, right.

In real life, every time you see a customer walk through the door, you and your mate whisper “oh, fuck off”.

4. Customer is almost never right

I’m 100% sure that you ordered two Cosmos not three but yeah, whatever,

I’m just gonna have to smile and pretend to be sorry “about the mistake”.

Keyword “pretend”.

5. The better you are at your job the more work you’ll have to do 

This is hospitality trap number 1 that I think you need to understand ASAP

It’s particularly tricky for people who are naturally hardworking

There are two kind of people in this industry

The first group is lazy as and they try to cruise through shifts doing the least amount of work as possible

Taking fag breaks, talking to the waiters and moving in slow motion

While the second group is running around and trying to get everything done and save the whole situation

You are getting paid the same

And the hardworking people are always expected to save the day

And because they are able to, they’ll be always working on busy days or being put on when two people should have been working because “you’re good, you can handle it”

Excellent.

6. “I want to give you more responsibility” trick

No, it’s not a promotion.

It always means that the manager wants you to do part of their job for 0.50 extra per hour so they can work less.

They will usually try to trick you into this by telling you that “you’re a supervisor now” or that “you are good, I can trust you with more responsibility”

And you’ll end up doing all the shitty jobs no one wants to be doing for a minimal difference in your pay

Don’t do it

You’ve been warned

I learned the hard way

7. Common sense is not that common

And people are actually gonna be surprised and impressed if you’re the one who’s got it

8. You only get busy when you’re not ready for it

Any time you’re understaffed, someone gets sent home or you’re just about to close, that’s when shit hits the fan.

And anytime your prep is on point and you are ready for the storm, nothing happens.

It’s a rule

9. Say goodbye to the weekends

Yeah, I said that every hospitality job sucks in a different way,

But they all have this one thing in common.

No weekends.

And when your friends with “normal jobs” go out and plan parties and weekends away.

You can’t go.

Because you’re working.

Every single time

10. When you’re busy you need to ignore your needs in favour of serving others

When you get busy, you’re not supposed to drink, eat or go to the toilet for hours but you’re supposed to bring people food, drinks and point them to the toilet

No, you’re never gonna eat any food during the lunch rush.

You don’t have time to make yourself a coffee while you have 10 coffees to make

You will be running around for an hour while needing to go to the toilet before you actually get a chance to go

And I dare you to grab a drink of water while you have a full bar of people waiting

Maybe if you’re free-pouring gin with your other hand, then it’s kind of alright

I’ve learned

11. If customers work in hospitality too, you can tell

It’s those amazing people who bring back empty glasses

Who don’t mind waiting at the bar

Who tell you the whole order in one go

Who buy you a shot when you’re having a mental night

Who know not to order an old fashioned when the bar is crazy busy

Who won’t ever order a Mojito

Who don’t stutter when you ask them what vodka they want for their Dirty Martini

Bless them

They make this bearable

That’s why I always say that working in hospitality for a certain period of time should be compulsory for everyone

Because then they’d understand

12. Your memory for orders is magnificent

Two vodka lime and sodas, spiced rum and coke, two Peronis, Chardonnay, Tommy’s Margarita and three shots of Patron Cafe

Don’t worry, I’ve done this a few times 

13. “Where are your toilets?” question

No matter where you work, how many signs pointing to the toilet your place has,

Or how self-explanatory is is

You’re gonna answer this question 5 times a shift

14. You can’t avoid the drinking

After 10 hours of serving assholes, I mean, customers, it’s really hard to say “no” to a beer

Hence, you’re gonna work with a hangover so many times, you’ll get used to it

15. We complain when it’s busy and we complain when it’s quiet

Because when it’s quiet, time goes slow

And when it’s busy, it sucks

You can never win

16. Sleep is a luxury

Closing at 2am and opening at 9am the next day, it’s gonna happen.

17. You can’t just “call in sick”

I mean, if you can walk, you can come to work

Because if you don’t, you’re gonna fuck all the people who are on shift over by making them understaffed

And you know how that feels,

Which is why you can’t do it

18. People will believe anything

You have no idea how many times I’ve talked about my favourite whiskies, even though I hate whisky 

Gave recommendations on menu items I’ve never tried

And recommended a cocktail because it’s easy for me to make

People will believe anything and often want “whatever you like”

19. It can go 0 to a 100 real quick

As soon as you can learn to go from being bored to running around like crazy in the span of 10 minutes, the better for you

20. You meet the most amazing friends at work

Even though there are many negatives, you meet the most incredible people at work

Because you’re genuinely a team who always has to have each other’s back

You go through a lot of shit together 

You have a lot of fun together

And you drink a lot of beers together

And they just understand

That’s why they’re gonna become some of your best friends

Don’t work in hospitality

You’ve been warned

Suz

xxx