I get it, people who have never worked in hospitality don’t know what it’s like and don’t even realise that they’re being annoying.
So here I am, giving you a bartender’s perspective.
Basically a public service
But also, just for FUN 🙂
10 types of people all bartenders hate
1. People who ask “what’s your favourite?”
Tell me, what does that have to do with anything?
I don’t know why people want to drink the stuff that the bartenders like.
I like citrusy rum old fashioneds and beer and since you ordered a Cosmo as your first round, I’m 100% confident that you wouldn’t like that.
I used to work with a friend who had a perfect answer to this question.
“What do you like to drink?”
“A pint of Stella.”
2. People who order Mojitos
I know you probably don’t realise but they’re a fcking pain in the ass.
Mainly because at most bars, you need to crush the ice.
And that takes ages and slows you down.
And Mojitos aren’t even that good.
So next time you order a round of 6 Mojitos, you’ll know the bartender just died a little bit inside and wished he served someone else.
3. People who order cocktails 10 minutes before closing
If I need to unwrap the sealed grapefruits, get the lime juice that I just put away and the make the cocktail equipment I just cleaned dirty all over again, then, yeah, I hate you.
So have some respect and order a beer, okay?
4. People who say “what else do you do apart from this?”
See the post Why Do You Work In A Bar
Yeah, I’m actually a doctor. I just do this for fun, you know?
5. People who wave / shout / intensively stare at you to get your attention
Believe me, I know you’re next.
This is not gonna help you.
6. People who order an old fashioned without knowing what it is (and then complain that it’s too strong or that it’s taking too long)
I’ve just spent 8 minutes making sure I make this drink the right way so it’s spot on and you complain because you don’t realise what you’ve ordered?
Not cool. Not cool.
7. People who take their drink before I finish it
You know, there’s actually a reason why there’s the orange peel in the Negroni.
And I actually care. I want to make it right.
But okay. Whatever.
8. People who stand at the bar and aren’t ready to order
The fact that you just walked to the bar from your table and you’re standing there means that you are ready to order.
That’s the language.
And yet when I ask you what you want you are surprised, confused and say “I don’t know, is there a menu?’
Minus 100 points.
9. People who wait until you make the drink and then say “another one of them”
I COULD HAVE MADE THAT AT THE SAME TIME
I’m trying to be efficient here and this is screwing me over, mate.
10. People who question whether you made the drink right
“I can’t really taste the Prosecco.”
“I don’t think that’s fresh lime juice.”
“Did you put enough gin in this?”
Oh, believe me, I have.
Plus a bonus one
10 + 1. People who ask “can you make a good Negroni?”
Mate, I don’t know what rubbish bars you normally go to, but…
It’s literally three ingredients stirred together.
It’s hard to fuck up.
But hey, don’t want to be negative or anything.
Bartender doesn’t necessarily hate you.
There’re many ways you can make bartender like you.
Like if you simply know what you’re ordering.
That’s a great start.
Even if it’s a dirty dry Tanqueray Martini with a lemon twist.
I don’t care.
You know what you want and I respect that.
Just don’t ask for it to be shaken, you know.
That makes you a dick again.
Don’t be that person.
Shameless Instagram plug: @sunshine__susan